I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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