She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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