is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize