Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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