end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
