oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
