I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
