Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
