Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We left an ass print on the piano.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Randomize
