I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
