Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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