Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
