Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
