I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
