I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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