Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
