Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
