yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
So squirting runs in the family.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize