Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize