Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
