I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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