Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
