Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
it was like having sex with a tree stump
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Randomize
