I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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