You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Randomize
