You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
