i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he shaved USA in his pubs
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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