I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize