farters have to be the big spoon...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
