There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
