kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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