when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
