when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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