I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
