I cockslap morals
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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