Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
