Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
