That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
vagina is talking i cant
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
