in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
