you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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