your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
