How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
