Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
