What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I intend to get homeless drunk
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
