So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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