I wish I could teleport
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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