So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
