i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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