Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
