you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize