I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
