i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
