before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
