you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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