Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
