I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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