Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.

Fav 37 6056 932
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(816): View more from Missouri

I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.

Fav 42 12885 1695
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(217): View more from Illinois

haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.

Fav 6 4281 1003
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(805): View more from California

Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.

Fav 3 2559 1448
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck

Fav 16 1092 1602
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(407): View more from Florida

Beer acquired. Food is cooking

(1-407): View more from Florida

Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio

Fav 3 1472 618
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(858): View more from California

He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"

Fav 2 1097 599
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(406): View more from Montana

I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....

Fav 2 213 345
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"

Fav 1 57 13
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