I wish I could punch you in the face.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
