I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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