So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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