So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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