just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
