Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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