how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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