after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
