is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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