cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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