and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
wow bdsm is so cute
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
