it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
