My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
