I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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