i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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