Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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