Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize