I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
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