She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
